Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
