You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Panties = found
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
