This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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