I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
