You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
