You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
