dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
