i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize