Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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