woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have fence marks all over my body
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
