i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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