We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
