so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
