Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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