Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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