I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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