dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
