he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
