apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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