oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
