I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
