i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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