i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
