Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
