lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
