areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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