I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
