is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
