Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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