Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize