Christians are straight up FREAKS
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
