i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
