garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize