it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
