Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
