I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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