Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
