if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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