I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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