I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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