i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
