Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
