You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
