so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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