when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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