My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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