If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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