Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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