I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
