Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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