I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
