6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
