So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
