My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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