Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
