How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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