okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
